Yes and No

NO, I don't love you.
Yes, I do care for you.
and I envy him that you love him that much
You hold the love I search about only its his.

NO, I don't love you.
Its better to care for you
cause what is love when its just words
what is it when I can't show you the shape of it

Yes, I want you so much
Yes, I want your passion
No, I do not want you to want me
if your heart longing for him.

Its better to breath without you
than take you when you wanna take him.
Its better to see you fight for him
then i fight for you to fight your heart over him
No, I still am what you knew
Yes, I'd rather not seeing you anymore.

Not anymore

I Don't see you
I Don't smell you
I don't hold you
I never felt how it is the smoothness of your skin
I never watch the language of your body
I don't know the face you owns

I can only read you
I can only hear you
I can only understand you
I can only picture you in my mind
I can only feel you

I just can't take my mind off of you
I just can't take this feeling in my heart
I just can't stop being so stupid
I just can't hate him so much that I know you need him
I just can't let him leaving you that I know you never wanted
I just can't hold my mind anymore
I just can't say that I don't love you now
and I just can't be what I need to be
not anymore

mistaken

This is not what I wanted to be
Knowing you was mean nothing to me
That fort was meant not to be torn
I did not look for a love to be born

It is now as complicated as it is
And Again I touch the handle of my locked heart
And it is about to be open again
For something that is not supposed

There is pain in my heart
since you walk out that door
leaving what we once had

full again...

new chapter....

I let my mind soar
To the deepest darkness of happiness
Trying to create laughter
A little piece of love that once lost
A little part of life that was gone

It was empty in my heart....
It was numbed
it still is
but with glittering joyness...

I smile
again..