Hate

I hate to admit. I'm so crazy about you. I'm soo sick of this feeling.

Lalu

Aku selalu berfikir
Waktu tak akan mampu menghapus semua
lalu semua rasa ini tak kunjung berakhir
Bayangmu masih terlalu kuat untuk menghilang dari dada

Lalu aku mencari
Apapun ku lalukan untuk menghapus bayangmu
semua aku lalui dengan berlari
Masih aku harus terhenti
ketika detik yang membawa wajahmu menghampiriku

Lalu aku berpaling
Memungkiri semua dengan kerja dan kerja
Kertas kertas menggantikan semua puing
Masih aku terpaku
ketika kertas berisi puisi tentangmu menyapa layu

Lalu aku memupuk amarah
Mencari alasan terbaik untuk mendidik benci
Menggunakannya sebagai tambal lukaku yang kian parah
Masih aku terkulai
Saat hadirmu menyapu semua rengut di jiwa

Lalu aku terdiam
berhenti untuk mengenangkan dirimu
yang pernah memberi arti dalam waktuku
yang pernah memberi amarah pada hatiku
yang pernah menanamkan bunga di tanah jiwaku
Dan aku mulai merasa kosong,
semua riuh rendah itu diam
bagai badai yang hilang...

Ada yang Hilang

Aku hanya bisa terdiam melihat kau pergi dari sisiku.. dari sampingku
Tinggalkan aku seakan semuanya yang pernah terjadi tak lagi kau rasa

Masih adakah tentang aku di hatimu, yang kau rasakan?
Coba kau rasakan..
Mudahkah bagimu untuk hapuskan semua kenangan bersama dengan ku

Tak pernah sedikit pun aku bayangkan, betapa hebatnya cinta yang kau tanamkan..
hingga waktu beranjak pergi, kau mampu hancurkan hatiku..

Ada yang hilang dari perasaanku
Yang terlanjur sudah ku berikan padamu
Ternyata aku tak berarti tanpamu
Berharap kau tetap disini
Berharap dan berharap lagi..

p.s. : my stupid heart!!

death

Where does my feelings go
When the moon has touched the sky
when darkness lights the day
Whats more left to do, but go?

Love don't move an inch
I won't even move
But i've lost the touch
What more left to do?

Struck deep
I feel like I'm not trusted
After all the talk we've been through
I lay naked before you
Still I am not a friend for you

Love don't cause a thing
Its friendship death
disapointed by late notice
My words are lost in the night
Flat line touches the ground

So stupid for me to say
So naive for me to stay
So damned for me to hate you
So sick I am that I can't do that
So my heart Locked bye unconditional love
that won't be around you!

Bad.....

Enough is enough. Its the end of this. I believe. I know eveything now. I should retreat now. Out of ethics, out of decieved.

The heart still haven't satisfy the hunger. Hunger for truth in question. The truth behind the time you silence. Not even a word on the subject, never. How should I trust without sufficient proof.

But, whats done is done! How much hunger to proof, how many questions to answer inside my mind, it is now the time to stand down the fight. No more strugle for a drop of truth. I thought everything has been said, but I thought wrong. 

Inside I still feel the anger. I am not mad. I am not laugh. Until I see the clarity in the words, I will still keep the same feeling for her. But I will try no more. I will stand in the distance. Very far distance where you will never see me there to look after you. With the glowing hope that you will found the happiness near and with him. The one you've been searching for...

Sorry...

Dream

I was dreaming. I was dreaming that i could love you the way that I love you. I was dreaming that the love will find a way to your heart and I admit it was a very pleasant dream. Untill in it, I express everything. I took my heart from my chest, and gave it to her.

In it, I feel soo warm. I feel the extacy of loving another. All my time was felt so full. All my mind blossoms like flowers in the spring time. My heartbeat always skip each encounter. It was like the happiest time i have ever had.

Then morning come. Sun rise, shining the lights on me. My eyes were forced to be opened. I awake. All is lost. I still laying on my bed. Shade my face with my bare hand. Hoping to be asleep again. Trying so very hard to dream again. But, it has disapeared. I have to face reality of the morning breaze.

Again, I still laying on my bed. Collecting the soul i had. All the breath i have to stand off my bed. Wait. just for a moment. I will stand again. Still it was a very happy dream that brought so much euphoria. Just a few more second and i will walk again.

"In my sick ways i wanna thank you for holding my head up late at night...." (blue October - "Hate me")

Hmm

Did I say love don't have to own? It is.
Did I say love can be one way? I didn't
Uderstand...that while love don't need the possession,
Love will ask to be acknowledged.

I have stated my heart
And now it due for answer
you've never clearly answer
to relief the thirst of the heart

Never I beg thee to accept
Nor I pushed thee to agree
whatever thy answer,
the thirst released

What is love

What is love?
Another truth to reveal?
Another lust to seal?

Is it a feeling?
Worth to be live for?
Worth to be cried for?
Worth to fight for?

What is love?
Another laugh to share?
Another heart to bare?

Then tell me
Does my bestfriend deserve my loved one?
without ever telling me
Kills me from my back....

It might be better if I hear from you
It might be happier if you ask me
I might congratulate you if only you showed up
Its not her at my expense.
It is you, my friend
Tear my world apart.

Sex IQ...95..lol

The Sex IQ Test

My Result: Average

Looks like you need to brush up on your sex smarts! Wonder which questions you got wrong? Then read your personalized Sex IQ Report to find out all the answers to the test!

What are you?
http://web.tickle.com/jumpto?test=sexiqogt&c=50652

WEW...Natural lover??!!

The Love Test

My Result: Natural Lover

You have a willingness to explore and take risks, which makes you a real catch for people who want to get out and experience all life has to offer. Whether you're camping, mountain biking, or simply taking a walk on the beach, your ease in the outdoors is something to be admired. In relationships, you're one of those balanced people who is able to think both with your heart and your head. This trait will surely benefit you in any romance you embark on.

What are you?
http://web.tickle.com/jumpto?test=loveogt&c=50652

I'm COmmited?? gee..i wish!!

Are You Fit to Commit?

My Result: fit to commit because you've met the right person

Sure, you've been in love before, but it looks like you've really found a match in this one. You've probably been around the block a few times, and you know exactly what's out there. Whether you've had a few heartbreaks or some dating disasters, you know a keeper when you find it.


You're a fun and energetic catch yourself, and you know that the secret to a great relationship is good communication and good times. An honest soul, you believe in lasting love and making things work. Keep up the good work!

What are you?
http://web.tickle.com/jumpto?test=fittocommitnewogt&c=50652

Am I a secure lover?

Are You a Secure Lover?

My Result: Preoccupied

People with a preoccupied attachment style tend to show a great deal of openness and eagerness to get close in a romantic relationship. They tend to be emotional, especially under stress, and may display more jealousy than those with other attachment styles. When it comes to sex, they may prefer being cuddly to actual intercourse.

What are you?
http://web.tickle.com/jumpto?test=attachmentogt&c=50652

Love at first sight?

Do You Believe in Love at First Sight?

My Result: Grounded Pragmatist

In matters of the heart, you are less likely to rely on fireworks and fairy tales than good common sense. That's not to say you don't appreciate a great date when it presents itself, but you aren't one to wait with bated breath for it to happen.


We'd bet a go-getter like yourself prefers to take matters into your own hands, perhaps calling on friends to set up a few blind dates or signing up for an online dating service. For a practical person like you, love at first sight sometimes needs a proactive nudge. So what are you waiting for? Get out there!

What are you?
http://web.tickle.com/jumpto?test=firstsightogt&c=50652

My Beliefs

The Religion Test

My Result: Baha'i

The Baha'i are monotheists — they believe in a single, almighty God. They also believe that their divine messenger, Baha'u'llah, is just the most recent in a long line of spiritual figures. If world peace is to happen the way they wish it would, the Baha'i believe it's critical to overcome the world's religious divisions in favor of establishing one faith for all of humanity.

The Baha'i pass their beliefs from generation to generation through sacred texts, the most well known being the Bayan, which suggests a universal law for all people. With a passion for unity and community, the Baha'i feel that an integrated world government, a universal religion, and an end to racism and gender inequality would bring about a better world.

What are you?
http://web.tickle.com/jumpto?test=religionogt&c=50652

My palm reading

Palm Reading Test

My Result: Letting your love flow

The signs we read in people's palms indicate they have much to gain by giving their affection freely to those that they care most about. By putting directed energy toward expressing their love, their efforts will be returned multi-fold.

What are you?
http://web.tickle.com/jumpto?test=handanalysisogt&c=50652

...

Dari mana ku mulai post ini? hmmmm....here....hear...her....

Should I cry now? when all the things have become so obviously clear to see. clear to hear. here...her...I laughed. here goes a shout...

I've lost a piece of me
I think i left it in your arms
I don't remember why i get so mad
But I remembered how i cared do much

Lately I've been on my own
then you came, I found a home
where I hope for loss hope
Where my dreams were born

Its just me...
My hope are now coming true
nothing else are there
all you have gave me.....

Ga bisa gw terusin....hampa...kosong....tapi penuh...
Aku rindu lautan....aku rindu pantai dimana aku bisa melayang diatas ombaknya...menoreh cakrawala yang tak berbatas...mengusik camar yang tebang bebas...melepaskan butiran yang mengalir di pipiku...tanpa beban...tanpa suara...tanpa rasa....aku lelah...aku muak...aku bosan...cinta ini mengusikku...hati ini telalu lemah...luka ini selalu sama...dan aku merindunya...yang telah melukaiku...yang telah ngehianatiku...yang merobek semua kepercayaanku...yang paling ku benci...semua terlalu mudah untuk menghilang....

Maafkan aku... ratusan kali aku memohon maaf, wen...hati ini telalu tolol untuk mengerti bahasa yang kau katakan...cinta ini terlalu buta untuk melihat kebenaran...kebenaran yang tak akan pernah memihak ku...satu titikpun tak ada kebenaran yang tertulis...ini semua salah...mungkin hati lain menyimpan cinta untuk hatiku...mungkin tidak dengan mu...sampai kutemukan hati yang mencintaiku...hati yang mencintaimu ini masih milikmu...TOLOL!!!

Udah...hehehe...selesai...habis uneg-unegnya...hahahaha...yeahhhh \:D/
Wen, Tq buat semua pengertianmu selama ini. Anybody who says you're imperfect then that anybody could eat bullshit in hell....heheheh....

Lost

And the dawn has fading.
turns the sky to blue
when the heart has sing
i just turn to blue

I was lost in my heart
But now I see the light
And now i feel soo light
because i have lost the fight

don't reach what you can't touch
don't get burnt by the sun
Don't wish what you can't do
Don't bleed the heart out

Leave from my heart, fled out
don't let anything left but the scar
its a decoration for the car
that i have loved you so much to be burnt out
and the dust blown away
and lost in the wind

Hujan

Waktu hujan telah berlalu. Yang tersisa hanya genangan dan tetes air yang bergulir menyusuri tulang-tulang dedaunan. Perlahan mencari jalan menuju tanah yang basah. Hanya untuk meresap kedalam bumi dan hilang.

Murka langit dengan gemuruh telah lewat. Yang tersisa hanya sepi diantara deru angin yang berhembus kencang. Menyapu dedaunan yang gugur keatas jalanan becek. Meniup dingin yang menyesak ke tulang-tulang galauku.

Habis sudah. Semua telah keluar. Hanya tersisa letih atas semua yang telah terungkapkan. Dan Air di selokan mengalir deras. Semua menuju ke satu tempat yang aku tak pernah tahu dimana.

Bersihh sudah tersapu hujan. Hilang sudah tertiup angin. Siapa yang mengharap semua terjadi seperti ini. Semua harus terjadi dengan cara ini. Siang-siang telah berusaha menahannya untuk turun. Namun semakin siang membakar, semakin berat langit menahan hujan. Dan kini langit kembali cerah. menantikan bumi untuk membawakannya air kembali. Mencerahkan dahaga yang membakarnya dengan sinar mentari. Menanti angin membawakannya awan untuk kembali melepaskan dahaga bumi dengan hujannya.

The Widows Peak - DC

You will wait in the widow's peak.
And while you watch the ships come in,
I will take the early train.

And I will take the back streets,
Down to New Orleans,
Before the avenues are swallowed,
By the morning heat.

And you will watch the ships come in.
And I will take the early train.
And I will make it home.

We're stronger where,
The strain had broken us.
And there is fight in us.
I know,

That it will take more than,
A heavy rain,
To silence us,
When there's so much for us.
I know,

You will wait,
At your post until,
You've been relieved,
And warn us all,
If seas are dangerous.

But you should rest,
For a little while.
And I will watch the ships come in.
I'll alert the citizens.

I'll sound the alarm.

We're stronger where,
The strain had broken us.
And there is fight in us.
I know,

That it will take more than,
A heavy rain,
To silence us,
When there's so much for us.
I know,

They've tethered the ships,
In the harbor.
They've anchored the rest,
At sea.

We're stronger than,
Before the strain had broken us.
And there is fight in us.
I know,

We're stronger than,
Before the strain had broken us,
And there is fight in us.
I know,

That it will take more than,
A heavy rain,
To silence us,
When there's so much for us.
I know...

There

There...
my tounge has spoken the truth
concluding the time spent for my heart to wait
ending the decieve my mind plotted

There...
no more shades of illusion left
combine the truth with these poet
you will see whats behind the door of my heart

There...
I'm leaving you the choice
Mine is now waiting
for the judgement you will dropped

There...
just leave me and never know me anymore
or love me with anyway you would
coz I have took the crossroad
will you make your bravery?

i'll be reaching for the stars with you

time is not running out
all the time in this world are yours to own
its my heart are running out
fading to the pain of posibly downed

we talked...
inability grows stronger with you
hopes are fading away
story of the dead hopes it was silenced

trying to show my mind
we fade to the empty space
slice the pain inside the heart
pushing you away from the truth

we smiled...
we don't see anything more
holding the lies to myself
believing you may not see

this is for my eyes only
you are for my mind only
truth is for me to believe
until my heart has burnt down

wait for the time it will burnt
wait till the skys are opened
wait for the time to stop
i'll be reaching for the stars with you
when you finally learned the truth
inside a dream that naver faded