Cinta...sebuah cerita manusia paling megah. Ada kepedihan yang selalu menghantui setiap titik dan komanya. Ada kebahagian yang menemani di setiap huruf dan spasinya.
Cinta...seperti hari yang kau lalui. Dimulai dengan pagi dan berakhir di malam hari. Kecerahan mentari buatmu selalu bahagia hingga akhirnya

The Lust

Perhaps this shouldn't be told...

Halusnya rambut mu ketika telapak tanganku menggenggamnya, seraya tatap matamu mulai membinal. Badai didada ku betalu-talu menghantam tembok jantungku ayng mulai melemas waktu bibirku mencumbu dua helai bibirmu. Hangat dan nyaman di keremangan yang aku tak tahu entah dimana.

Nyerinya gigitanmu dengan gemas menggigiti bibirku, halusnya kulit tubuhmu ketika jemariku mencari detak jantungmu, rambut halus di belakang lehermu, menghantarkan libido yang begitu hebat. OH...merah bibirmu memang terasa sempurna ketika lidahku merabanya. Dan bahasa tubuhmu pun mulai liar.

Dan ketika kubukakan kelopak mata ini mencoba melihat kedalam kesenanganmu, kau pun menghilang. Hanya ada aku sendiri yang tergeletak sendiri disapa cahaya mentari pagi yang menyusupi jendela kamarku. Hanya imajinasi indah semalam rupanya.

I want to let you know that I was deleting your id from my friend list. I am not angry or offended by all the words you said or for the things you didn't do. I need to erase you from my feelings, from my heart, from my mind. As time is really scary everyday I wake up and see your smiley is still yellow.

I can't stand not to even say hello to you. Dang!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can't Lie

Lose her!, a friend said it once to me.
Just lose her out of your mind!
Don't tell me you haven't been warned before...!!
And don't cry on me when its all too late!!
Coz I bet you will!!!

I just smile and said, I won't.
I will let her be at the end though,
I just can't understands why I'm opened again
Is it the thirst of passion?

I need to find out
I need to touch the point of no return
You may say its useless
Its the challenge that bites
and when you reach the enough
you have to admit that enough is enough
yet I will still fall and cry

Still,
"Love you most" will be said at the time
and till I cannot speak to wishper the words, I will say it anyway there is
Coz it is in my heart
I can't lie

It has end without having start

You have become a part of my heart
Though nothing is what I am at you
And nothing is this meant to you
as a fool to love, where he shall not love anymore

As my heart comes to a point.
As where it realizes to stop disguising
As it will be empty without truth
this is what it wants

It started something the world has never start
It started something you never start
So it will end with nothing that is never start
As it will be in it
like as it starts
fadeless, eruptless,mindless

It knows,
It understands,
It never have you however it is
eventhough it can, it never can
satisfy you, happy you,cheerish you, comfort you, love you
Thogh it would, it never could
It never regret.

I will never regret
To met you is to love you
and to love you is to leave you
to leave you is to be with you
and I have not time I have passed to abort
to be rewinded and to be with you
And I love you even more as when once I love her
as her caring was enough and i want love
I never regret my love.

good bye, love.

When, Nothing is everything

When the sun start to vanish
There goes another day in silent
When those moon start to arise
But days never could be replaced

When I hear your eyes speaks
About love, about you, about life
Soar everything for me are blank
When eyes opens, understand the love for me blurs

When the days with you gives majesty
Like no tears will be created and
Like your love belongs forever to me
Not a dot of love there and stays
then go home without you and your joy of love
nor with another to replace thee

When time ticking and pushing me away
When sadness and wounds wicked and wicked
I don't want to get through the beauty
But everythng has to end
Even when everything never be started

Gabriel Fermy Aswinta

Adinda, dengarkan

Adinda, mungkin indah dirimu bukan untukku. Tawa dan senyummu yang telah menemani setiap hal yang kupandang, mungkin tak akan pernah kulihat lagi. Megahnya jiwamu mungkin hanya mimpi yang hilang ketika kelopak mataku membuka.

Adinda, waktu bukan sesuatu yang bisa kuatur, begitu pula rasa yang ada di dalam hatimu. Aku telah mencoba melupakanmu, tapi kau bak candu yang telah merasuki setiap mili liter darahku, hanya kau yang tercipta dalam setiap kata.

Adinda, mungkin rasa di hatimu hanya akan menjadi mimpi indah dalam setiap khayal yang datang menemaniku. Manisnya cerita-cerita waktu bila bersamamu mungkin hanya akan datang bila mimpi menjelang. Hanya rasa yang kini tersisa.

Adinda, mungkin air mata ini tak ada artinya. Mungkin kepingan-kepingan hati ini tak akan pernah menyatu. Membaur bersama putih pasir pantai yang mulai tertiup angin.

Adinda, itu mentari yang telah menyinariku hingga kini. Indah merahnya mulai memudar. Kini aku harus kembali bersama chandra dan tenggelam bersama bintang dalam gelap malam hingga menyatu dalam keabadian. Tanpamu. Sendiri. Sepi....

Adinda, cinta telah buta, dan aku membenturmu. Lalui hariku tanpamu, akan ku obati kesepian, akan ku sunggingkan lagi tawa kecil disini, akan kujadikan lagi tawa dari tangisan, namun hanya satu yang akan seperti hari ini. Hanya satu yang tak akan berubah. Ruang megah berhiaskan semua kata dan semua cerita yang ada dalam hatiku tak akan pernah terbuka lagi. Menanti tawamu untuk menghidupkannya lagi.

Untittled

There you go, brings all the tears with you. Scrambled in the moment, it cracks you down. Wishing it was not me who say it.

Leading my mind with hallucinnations and I'm stumbled on you. Trying to understand you, but I crushed you when I dig. Its like singing with the wrong tone. laughing for the missery.

And I did you wrong, and I did all for you. Don't even know what am doing.
O stupidity of love...

Panic

Its like breathing in no air
Its like seeing in no lights
The moment I know you're in pain
The moment you bleed

Its like dreaming of falling
Panic struck instantly
Can't stand to know you hurt
Can't even breath knowing there are something wrong

Seize my mind if you ill
Its like wanna stop time till I get there
And rewind it before you ill
So I can be there to take care of you
Hope I'll be there fast enough to stop it from coming at you
So you'll never feel the pain

I cry
Can't stop the panic
Can't fight the brood
Oh...mind halt
this feelings tainted by your lifelines
don't go now I need you
Don't die on me, life will be silent without you

Love you, Most

Its for you

Some people say to let you go
But letting you go seems the hardest thing to do
I feel desperate yet happy
your poisonus attraction bites me
yet I won't hide from you
I feel everything in you
I found my happiness there
but you never there
I never would turn my back
but you're always lost my sight

I never wanna fight it till forever
and i don't know where it will leads us
but I know love will die never
until emtiness come and lead us
I will do though nothing is waiting
Its for you

Love you, Most

A Nightly Breeze

At the last breeze of midnight cold
I was trembling in bed
Fighting this tumbling heart
drunken by love's tequilla,
wanting to caress you in my arms
I hit the transparent silence you left me with
As I watch your fascinating smile strech in the photograph of you
can't help the tears from falling down
Can't help my feeling erupt such a volcano
Forgive me as my heart act inobidience
As my words is my media
As my feelings are my soul
You are my feelings
So I sat shivering in the corner
As the night fly to the sun's morrow
Let my sadness go
I smile to see you smile

Love you, Most

Memory

This may never start
we could fall apart
and not be your memory
lost your sense of fear
feelings insincere
can now be your memory

so get back to where we lasted
just like I imagine
I could never feel this way
so get back to the disaster
my heart's beating faster
holding on to feel the same

this may never start
i'll tear us apart
could now be your enemy
losing half our years
waiting for you here
i'd be your anything

this could never start
tearing out my heart
and id be your memory
lost your sense of fear
feelings disappear
can not be your memory

this could never start
we could fall apart
and id be your memory
lost your sense of fear
feelings insincere
can not be your memory........

Love you, Most

Morrow

Good morrow, o ol' sun
Good morrow, o fair lady
shine me with thy brightness
shine me with thy happiness

Another day is comming
and my heart still missing
every single beat of my mine still
the thought of loving you keep fill

Good morrow, O beauty love
my steps shall driven by you
my smile shall brought by thoughts of loving you
without reply I still able to love
and without reply shall not make a problems
for true love shall let you choose your choice
for not loving me is enough my side only love

Good morrow, O love
thanks for visiting my world
lovely thoughts you have brought
the beauty of you have enough
to make the life of all the flowers bloom
to make the love fools smile
without the need to be loved anymore

O let there a smile in every face
for i love is what it takes

I love you, Most

Kesepian Abadi

Dingin yang tak terperi
Dalam gelap malamku
Letih aku melawan
Tapi sia sia

Seperti berjelaga
Warna air mataku
Apa yang bisa aku lakukan
Aku telah pergi

Jiwaku menari..
Diatas kesepian abadi
Memudar laguku
Luruh bersama hilangnya
Mimpi mimpiku

Tak habis ku berhayal
Tentang indah dirimu
Takkan pernah
Bisa kusentuh lagi

ps...UTOPIA -Kesepian abadi

Burnt

All my love, burnt
Thus, it ends
Here

leave

Guess she will not see this blog anymore, so lets, my heart, lets we spill the pain here....shall we?

OH MY GOD..................
This is what I've done...........My heart is too aching, can't stand to love. Do I have loved her too much, so I am able to leave. Coz everything will just be useless.

I can't be the distortion of her love to him. I need to get her over. I know, heart, I know, but i can't be there when she tell everything about him. Don't you feel it heart? Its such a pain isn't it?

Well, a man gotta do what a man gotta do (such a silly phrase :) ) so here we are, doing what we shall do from the beginning, from the time the love inside you, heart, grows.

haha, heart, whats the best for her don't become whats the best for us, don't it? *wiggle* Tell me something heart, do we love her that much? can you wake up tomorrow and not thinking of her? are we talking shit here? hahahaha....

Well, now that we have said it, lets just walk on. Now...now...walk straight!!! come on...she's gone, bubye, hasta la vista, take the blame on you! it is you to love her soo...it is me to follow you too...well, heart, like she said at the last time let bygone be bygone and here's what i said to you: let it go...wrap it nicely in a room there inside your heart, lock it, and every morning broom it well, open the window, let it catch the sun light. Can you do it, love?

A'ight then, lets start walking now, there, see that long path you should take? come along, come along don't be affraid i'm here....come on...you know that you just can't be with her. well lets go, shall we?

love you, most

Neglected

A last night song catch my soul
One touch of the waves crack my heart
and sleeping beauty leaves me with the winds

It doesn't matter who you love
It doesn't matter who you'll be
For next year in this time of year
I will be sleeping with the sands of the heart

What it is inside
I just want to let you know
That my neglected heart will
Love you, till forever and a day

What it is inside
I just wanna let you know
That my broken heart have
a locked room that will be kept clean forever till
you will come and sleep in its bed

What ever it is
Its what best for you
so let my stranger heart laying cold
for I will not forget the momments we've had
Its just the way it is

I love you, Most

A Letter

I don't get it. I just knew that there is a part of love that gives this kind of feelings. I knew I just know you. I don't even know you. Perhaps for some positive things on you,though I haven't catch your dark side. But, why I don't give a damn about that?

Can love do this to me? is this what you felt for him once? Right now, I could give everything to you, my mind, my heart, my words, my soul even my life won't leave you. Might this be a dawn of a new age of my live, our lives?

I never told you clearly for once, I never straight to you about my feelings, yet. This is the time I will never forget, where I have to admit i cannot live without you, where Ihave to live not with you.

Do answer me if you would. Don't if you won't. Either way, I've spoken my love. Yet I want to proof it. It is fair for me if you couldn't take your next step besides me, side by side. Rejection is a part of my love, for this love prematurly arose. It is chance that I have not. Though you give me one, i couldn't

What ever happens, this may seems a local love story. I just want you to know how I misses you, every second my fiction halt in the disconnection of you to the cyber. How I get soo frantic each and every night we loss contacts. But my mind stuck in you, and all about you.

Oh dearly love, I desire a chance to get through every test of life together. Where we shall fight together, holding hand faces the truth that sometimes atrocious. Try to stand in every strom that will shake our truth together.

So come what may, and i will love you, until the end of the roads there are.

Sincerely,
D33ck

Love you, Most

This isn't mine (I want it to be mine)

May I summon a question?
As this question I purposed
Have been lies in the heart of my oceans
As time has eaten our relation to the endless
Last nothing in the mind but it

Ah....
Thy have reveal the magic inside
open my eyes to see the beauty thy possess
Not what eyes may see but only heart may
Its the secret thy hold

And it isn't mine
nor shall it will
I shan't be there
I can't be there

When you need a shoulder to cry on
I can't hug you, though here is my opened heart for you
When you need a home to go to
I may not gave you, though here is my heart to home thee

If there is anything i would like to have most
It is you
If there is anything i would like to be most
It is to be able to gave you everything you need

Though time may answer what I ask
I ask you this
For I can't wait to ask
While forever and a day you may answer
This isn't mine forever with you
ah....
How wonderful life is when you are around

Love you, Most

Its a love's nature

I was debating with her. About why should she should not keeping his trace in her heart. Ask her to open her heart, start seeing another, move on. But then, in a point, my mind seems to understand everything:

Here I am,
Can't thou see me?
Won't you look at me?
Won't you hear my voices calling?
Won't you try

I shout, I mad, I scream
You just don't give a damn
You stood still
Like I'm not here at all
Or maybe I am?
Or perhaps I shouldn't?

Here I am
Have done something stupid
Something I shouldn't do
Shouldn't I knock that locked heart
Not this time

Though I love you soo
Though I need you soo
Though you have been my faveorite drug
Shall I not be with you

And at this point
This is what i want that you want
If i may put happiness in you
It is not me, it is him that shall do

It is to lose you will makes me happy now
For you are happy only because of him
For me to be happy to see you do

So shall I touch emptiness
If emptiness for me are thy happiness
So shall I shed a tears
If your happiness is not my tears
I shall make you happy

Love you, Most

O heart

O heart......where have you brought me?
O my heart.....can thy let me be alone?
May I not have love of what thy have?
May I not feel?
May thy leave me alone?

O dear heart... where have you brought me with?
To the mountain I have suffer the journey you ask
To the deep of the ocean I have breathless without
To the feelings I have failed

O my sweet heart.... where have we gone this far?
I have believe in you all along
I have trusted what you have guide me
I have never doubted you and I wont

I live by you,
I am here just for you
Still I am not live without you
Nor I won't be here

O heart...if I may end up bleeding and dying
If I touch the end of the world and have nothing
If my everything crushed in the end
Atleast I know one thing at the end

I have followed your path you've showed me
I have do what I believe in
Ain't no regret through every missery

I love and Crushed
I love and I believe
I crushed but I still love
I am proud of you, O heart

I love you, most

What I want

Touch me oh dearly lady! Feel this is fiction thou have given. Flying around in the outer limit of the sanity. Rescue me, O fair lady, as I'm floating between fiction and thruth, between madness and sane. Sunk in the fallacy of this unreal sanity.

What I want is to feel thy softest palm as it slowly and gently trace the source of this insanity through my chest. What I want is for thee to unchain this reality which hiding beneath your heart. What I want is to understand the secrecy, sacredness of thy love. What I want.....shalt thee understand it?

As I am through with my journey, I realized it won't end without you. It cant! It won't! I won't!

O sweetness of thee, it is my prayers, under on bended knees, lay up to heaven, Thou shalt release me, uncrucified me. Willst I drowned in emptiness of failed heart, I shalt perish.

Touch me, and share thy love with me, as we step our day in felicity, as thy want become mine, it has been what i want.

I love you, most

And thats all folks

Crushed, my mind bended.
Pinned, I'm at the end of the game
lastly, I'm thanking her for everything
For the time
For the jokes
for the stories
For all you've done
And its been a good will

It is enough for me
just to see you by the end of the day
Just to laugh with you on the fiction of the wires
Just to do crazy things inside our own wind
And let all the things by

A fair condition in a just momment
I like to be this way
not commited to any promises
nor a thin air of broken hearted
Still you are the most

I love you, Most

An Answer

No Where

This time....I'm stuck. My heart lost of right from wrong. Blind from the sense of just. So here is a poem for some one in the outer planet of my universe, the i shouldn't have even known:

I place my mind in the corner, right where it can be alone, alone where it can just disapear. For I am unable to have. It is what I supposed not to own

If I may cry, I would. Please let it be rain. Falls upon this feeling, you have introduced me to this form of feelings. Let it be rain of joyfulness, its my heart's joyrides for the first time.

If I may spoken, please let me... My mouth shuts, my heart beat breaks the silence, my thoughts are affraid. I'm scared, I'm restless, and now I'm about to wounds.

We stepped to this land. Where I should not brought you, where you shall not presence. Why? Lady, it is you who open up my path, you who show my path, so does you who rings this feelings.

If I say I care for you, will you care for me? If the words of love sprung through my heart, would you share love to me? If my hearts wants you, can we be the longest of all the world may have? If...my heart...if....

I can wait forever. But I won't wait forever to spoke of my heart. This is what i feel. This is what i get of not knowing what I know. When suddenly, at a point, you realized this is not just a feeling.

Nor does its just, I may only loved not be loved. I may only give you, though I must not recieve any. Cannot wait, for time hast lost for me. Cannot regret, for it is the most beautiful thoughts I ever had - though it is by you.

So, love, here is my lonely mind in the corner, knowing what it is there for me and for you. I'm done here for my path have clear. I am through. Now I am no where without you. Though I still live. Though you still live. It is the worm hole of mine. It is where no where is.

I love you, most.